The Filthy Floors - Sometimes I'm afraid to put down my bags and stuff because the floor looks like it might eat me alive. They do mop the floors, but from what I've seen, they just use water, no soap. And they don't change that water until the day is done. Just hold on to your shit. Putting it on the floor increases your risk of getting jacked anyway.
The Rancid Restrooms - I once had the pleasure of entering one of the restrooms at one of the train stations. The whole place smelled like urine and feces. That's right. Not just the toilet, the whole fucking place. There was also a phone in there for some reason. Yeah, right next to the shitter. The floor and the walls looked like they were coated in some sticky substance. The mirror was still intact though. Better than the mirrors at my school, that's for sure.
The Crowded Cars - Apparently the economy is getting really poor because now they only run four cars per train rather than the usual six. They do run six cars sometimes, but only during rush hours when people are going to and from work. These four-car trains get mad crowded, and often. If I haven't already mentioned this, I hate crowded places. Nothing makes me uncomfortable than being forced to be in close contact with three other people who I don't know for an extended period of time. And the fact that it's on a train only makes it worse.
The Slow Service - On weekends and during non-rush hours, the trains run infinitely slower. Seriously. If you miss your train you'll have to wait nearly an hour and thirty minutes for the next train to show up. You probably could have beat the train to the next station in that time. It's really ridiculous. One time I was headed for the station on a Saturday, when I saw the train zooming above me. I knew then that I had missed my train, so I hung around the mall east of the station for a while and still returned in time for the next train. It sucks.
The Gratuitous Graffiti - Being an artist, I can appreciate graffiti when it's put in the right places, looks good, and has actual artistic merit, but when it's just some asshole writing shit I cannot understand in a format I cannot understand, I just get annoyed. Seriously, these morons have no talent. I don't even think these thugs can afford spray-paint, because they usually scrape the stuff with knives or razors like prisoners. Some use sharpies, but that's a very rare occurrence. Common places where you'll see graffiti include windows, walls, seats, poles, benches, and sometimes doors. I'm surprised there wasn't any in the restrooms.
The Arid Advertisements - Welcome to Miami Dade Transit: Home of some of the most boring, uninteresting, unimaginative, poorly designed advertisements known to mankind. I found two particular recent ads to be very interesting though. One was an ad for a dental clinic that talked about how you can improve your smile. The lady on the ad (the dentist herself) looked very manly and had one of the ugliest smiles I've seen in a while. The irony was thicker than a stoner's skull. The other ad I found interesting was one from a group known as Calling Islam. It had a picture of a lady in scrubs and said at the bottom, "I am an American-Muslim Doctor," and then something about how the teachings of Islam say that being a doctor is a good thing, followed by a link to some site. I found the overall ambiguity of the ad to be irritating, as it looks utterly stupid from a distance. On a first glance, it appears that they're advertising their religion so their churches can get a little more jingle in their greasy pockets, so they're kind of initially getting the wrong message across. If you go to their site, though, you'll find that their cause is a lot less corrupt than one might think. They're only defending their religion, not advertising it.
The Inferior Enforcement of the Rules - Sorry, no alliteration this time. There are three rules on the trains. The two that are most commonly infringed upon are "no eating" and "no playing loud music". These days people just don't give a fuck, and will play their shitty, played out, weak Little Wayne music at full blast on their Ipods so that everyone on the bus or train car can hear it. I despise most of the music being made these days, so the degree of annoyance produced by this is exponentially higher than that of most things. People also like to eat their junk food on the train. This wouldn't be a big deal if the fatasses weren't so messy. If they aren't leaving crumbs, they're leaving wrappers all over the floor. It's gross. And that shit will sit there for weeks without being touched if it ends up in a corner. Because you know good and well that those janitors are not doing their best to find every single piece of trash on the trains and busses. The transit security is weak too. It's so easy to get in the stations without paying. Sometimes there will be nobody stationed at the turnstiles, so if you wanted to jump, you really could. Those knucklehead security guards are too busy bothering people who are sitting on light fixtures and fences to care.
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Remember how I said that if you avoid these seven things, you'll be fine? Well, I just realized that most of these things can't be avoided, so tough shit. If you're getting on transit, you'd better be a bad enough dude, or you may never come out alive. Don't worry, though. I lived, you can too.
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