True Story:
During the Summer of 2007, I had just completed Web Design 1 on Florida Virtual Schools. No sweat. It was actually incredibly easy. I worked on it every day since it was during the summer and I had nothing else to do anyway. After I completed that class I moved on to Web Design 2. After signing up I worked on it a bit, but since the Summer was almost over, I didn't get to do much before school was back in. When school started, I forgot about the class completely until December of 2007, when my mother received a call from Florida Virtual Schools stating that I hadn't worked on the class a single bit since the start of the year. To make matters worse, I had less than five days to finish the class or an F would be recorded in the gradebook. So I got serious, I mean really fucking serious, put my game face on and everything, and I worked my ass off and completed the class two days before the deadline. That's right. I had time to spare. Since it was a long weekend I was able to work on it as long as I possibly could without shirking any other duties. The class was completed. Instead of an F, a B was recorded. The day was saved.
Do you know what this means? It means that if you focus hard enough, you can complete any one of these classes in a matter of days and then start on another immediately after completing the last one. Or you could go hardcore and take multiple online classes at a time. Yeah, scary, isn't it? In fact, there have been many occurrences already in which students would take a plethora of online classes just to boost their Grade Point Averages through the roof, causing Online Classes to take part in the complete obliteration of the Valedictorian rank in Florida. That's right, you pansies, no more Valedictorian Medals for you. That ought to teach you to take real classes in real classrooms instead of bullshit online classes.
Now let me talk about the classes themselves. They offer pretty much every class you've ever heard of. Including some you haven't even heard of. A lot of them are pretty stupid though. I mean, come on now. Personal Fitness? Online? For fuck's sake, is that even legal?
Right now, I'm taking a class known as Global Studies. I think it's a 9th grade-level class, because it's incredibly easy. I mean, even the front page of the site looks absolutely ridiculous (not to mention nauseating and horrendous). Below is the first thing you see when you log in. Complete with commentary by yours truly.(click to enlarge):
Just by looking at that, you can already tell how seriously this class should be taken. I think I may have stumbled into a 5th grade class on accident. And that's not the worst part. The subject matter of this course is simply ridiculous. I don't think I've learned anything since the day I started taking this course.
The class consists of nine chapters:
Orientation: the content-free chapter.
Global Perspective: Weather and climate are the only things discussed in this chapter.
World Population: Self explanatory.
Celebrating Diversity: What the hell? What am I supposed to learn from this?
Global Security: Terrorism plays a big role in this chapter. Even though the War on Terror should be over soon.
Global Economy: Self explanatory.
Human Rights: Mostly about bad stuff happening to humans.
Protecting the Environment: Horrendously boring shit. Anyone with a brain should already know what is and is not good for the environment. They've been hammering it in our minds since the 2nd grade.
Global Community: Final project and stuff. Nothing much is learned here.
Those are the nine chapters. It's really easy stuff. So next time you need to get a few credits out of the way and need to do it fast, just take some online classes. The simplicity of these things is all they've got going for them. Other than that, they're pretty much one giant waste of space after another. The biggest problem I have with these classes though is that they're so fucking easy that it doesn't even make me want to do any work. How am I supposed to complete a class like this if it deteriorates my morale by being too easy?
I hate online classes.
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