Stupid Online Classes

Online classes are stupid. Need a quick and easy way to get a truckload of High School credits while simultaneously boosting your GPA to godlike levels? Take online classes. These classes are extremely easy, and can be completed in only a few days. Yes, that's right. High School classes that can be completed in days. Don't believe me? Let me tell you my story.

True Story:

During the Summer of 2007, I had just completed Web Design 1 on Florida Virtual Schools. No sweat. It was actually incredibly easy. I worked on it every day since it was during the summer and I had nothing else to do anyway. After I completed that class I moved on to Web Design 2. After signing up I worked on it a bit, but since the Summer was almost over, I didn't get to do much before school was back in. When school started, I forgot about the class completely until December of 2007, when my mother received a call from Florida Virtual Schools stating that I hadn't worked on the class a single bit since the start of the year. To make matters worse, I had less than five days to finish the class or an F would be recorded in the gradebook. So I got serious, I mean really fucking serious, put my game face on and everything, and I worked my ass off and completed the class two days before the deadline. That's right. I had time to spare. Since it was a long weekend I was able to work on it as long as I possibly could without shirking any other duties. The class was completed. Instead of an F, a B was recorded. The day was saved.

Do you know what this means? It means that if you focus hard enough, you can complete any one of these classes in a matter of days and then start on another immediately after completing the last one. Or you could go hardcore and take multiple online classes at a time. Yeah, scary, isn't it? In fact, there have been many occurrences already in which students would take a plethora of online classes just to boost their Grade Point Averages through the roof, causing Online Classes to take part in the complete obliteration of the Valedictorian rank in Florida. That's right, you pansies, no more Valedictorian Medals for you. That ought to teach you to take real classes in real classrooms instead of bullshit online classes.

Now let me talk about the classes themselves. They offer pretty much every class you've ever heard of. Including some you haven't even heard of. A lot of them are pretty stupid though. I mean, come on now. Personal Fitness? Online? For fuck's sake, is that even legal?

Right now, I'm taking a class known as Global Studies. I think it's a 9th grade-level class, because it's incredibly easy. I mean, even the front page of the site looks absolutely ridiculous (not to mention nauseating and horrendous). Below is the first thing you see when you log in. Complete with commentary by yours truly.(click to enlarge):



Just by looking at that, you can already tell how seriously this class should be taken. I think I may have stumbled into a 5th grade class on accident. And that's not the worst part. The subject matter of this course is simply ridiculous. I don't think I've learned anything since the day I started taking this course.

The class consists of nine chapters:

Orientation: the content-free chapter.
Global Perspective: Weather and climate are the only things discussed in this chapter.
World Population: Self explanatory.
Celebrating Diversity: What the hell? What am I supposed to learn from this?
Global Security: Terrorism plays a big role in this chapter. Even though the War on Terror should be over soon.
Global Economy: Self explanatory.
Human Rights: Mostly about bad stuff happening to humans.
Protecting the Environment: Horrendously boring shit. Anyone with a brain should already know what is and is not good for the environment. They've been hammering it in our minds since the 2nd grade.
Global Community: Final project and stuff. Nothing much is learned here.

Those are the nine chapters. It's really easy stuff. So next time you need to get a few credits out of the way and need to do it fast, just take some online classes. The simplicity of these things is all they've got going for them. Other than that, they're pretty much one giant waste of space after another. The biggest problem I have with these classes though is that they're so fucking easy that it doesn't even make me want to do any work. How am I supposed to complete a class like this if it deteriorates my morale by being too easy?

I hate online classes.

The Inauguration

Today I'm going to talk about the presidential inauguration. Let me first say that if I had a choice between watching that thing and not watching it, I would have chosen the latter. It is only because I was forced to, though, that I ended up doing the former. At school today they forced as many students as they could into the auditorium so we could all watch the inauguration. I wasn't at all interested since I'm not a follower of politics and I ended up sleeping through half of Obama's speech. Teachers said that the reason it was important for us to watch it is because "history was being made". I thought to myself, "okay, then leave the history to the historians and actually teach me something today instead of forcing me to watch as a hypocritical politician leaves office and a new hypocritical politician takes his place."

I also found it funny when people said "this is important! It's history!" Where's the logic in that? How can something be history if it's happening right now? Isn't that kind of an oxymoron? Here's an idea, if they want it to be such a historical event, why not just record it, and then give out DVD's of the inauguration to students on Friday so we can "watch" it over the weekend? That way we'll really be watching "history" since it will be something that happened before then! Oh, here's an even better idea! How about we just not implement political events into the curriculum altogether and actually learn something every single day?
Yeah, I know. What a crazy idea, right?

Anyways, on the subject of the Inauguration itself, I noticed something interesting about the crowd. There were at least 2 million people there. Many of which left their homes both near and far to stand in a crowded area where at least five people will be touching them at all times. Not only that, but it's also supposed to be very cold down in D.C. around this time. What's worse is that these people paid, that's right, paid to stand in these sardine-can like conditions. Why someone would want to pay cash to be uncomfortable for hours on end is beyond me. They could just watch the thing at home and be comfortable! Without wasting any money.

Also another thing that caught my attention was the praying sections. Am I the only one who noticed that the camera only focused on people who were praying? I smells propaganda. Also I really don't get this prayer thing. Is it really absolutely necessary to pray for 15 minutes at events like these? I'm sure that if there were any Christians in the crowd who actively practiced the faith on a daily basis, they'd have already prayed before they left for the inauguration and when they got there. So why is mass prayer necessary? I seriously don't think that Americans are incapable of praying on their own. And we certainly don't need a fat guy with a beard to do it for us. And as for the people who do not practice the Christian faith, what about them? Do they not exist? Are they not considered human beings? And if so, then why aren't their faiths recognized as widely as Christianity? What's up with that? I say we should all keep our religious faiths to ourselves and stop this "mass prayer" bullshit. "Freedom of Religion" wasn't amended into the constitution so we could ignore it, you know.

As for the things I did like, well the musical performers were pretty kick ass. Aretha Franklin made me laugh hard because eventually she stopped singing in coherent words and just started moaning musically. And she still sounded okay. No, I did not enjoy Obama's speech. That's why I slept through half of it. It was horrendously boring.

Welcome to the Graveyard

My name is David. I'm an artist, an oldschool hip-hop enthusiast, and a frequent player of outdated video games.

I made this thing so I can express my thoughts on anything that comes to mind. It's "anything goes", really. I plan to update every week, but don't be surprised if I break my own rules every now and then. Every post I make will be accompanied by some completely irrelevant artwork created by none other than yours truly.

As for the name, well, I couldn't think of anything else, really. I think it kicks ass though.

I was planning on having a good solid post today, but too bad, ain't gonna happen. Maybe next time.

Until then, here's some Cypress Hill to keep you busy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzOatuYAmOI


As for the artwork, here you go:
(oh, and click it to enlarge)